VULNERABILITY IS NOT A WEAKNESSS

When was the last time that you felt vulnerable?

First of all let’s ask – What is vulnerability?  It’s a state of emotional exposure that comes with a certain degree of uncertainty. It involves a person’s willingness to accept the emotional risk that comes from being open and willing to love and be loved. The fear of vulnerability is common.

In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.

In my Business Class Podcast, I discuss vulnerability and explain that it’s the fear of showing up in your life, of taking the chance, of believing in your dream, and taking the risk of showing up for yourself, whether that’s in your business, personal or love life.

Being vulnerable opens us up. We are open to judgement and fear and these two things can paralyse us and stop us in our steps, and prevent us from attaining our life’s goal and purpose.

What’s a girl to do? Feel the fear, and push through anyway. Bring your best self to your present moment, have courage, and pursue your dreams. If what you desire resonates with your soul’s purpose, and you know your life will be different and more expanded, then its an intimate journey between you and that goal. Your future self with thank you, and you’ll wonder why you didn’t start earlier.

There are a couple of stand out moments for me in regard to vulnerability. One was on a personal level, when I was vulnerable enough to seek help from people close to me. I experienced a huge learning curb, and realised quite quickly that some people can really show up positively and others can’t. It was such a huge lesson for me. Not feeling content with suggestions, I analysed what it was that I needed from someone and why it was that I didn’t have the courage at that time.  Why did I feel so vulnerable that I couldn’t move through the situation on my own and with clarity?  I truly wished that I had the courage, but all I possessed at that time was fear and uncertainty, and both of those were not going to serve me well. There’s a quote from Audrey Hepburn that goes like this:

“As your grow older you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The other life event where I felt very vulnerable was the publication of my first book titled Greek Life.  I couldn’t imagine how impactful my book would be, and how it would change lives around the world.

But to get to that place, I had to write it, sit with it, refine it and edit it, before handing it over to my editor whom I met quite serendipitously at a café.  After overhearing a conversation between my editor and a man who were discussing books, I faced my fears and vulnerability and mustered the courage to enquire if she was a publisher. She was an editor, and that’s exactly who I needed for my manuscript.

My editor was the first person outside my family to read my book. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and fearful of judgement. What was she thinking? Was she enjoying it? Does she understand it? All of those feelings of fear and vulnerability were whirling around for some three weeks when finally she got back to me to say that she would be absolutely honoured to edit my book. Phew!

This was the moment of truth. The moment I needed to back myself, to have courage, face my fears and leave vulnerability at the door. The editing took some months, and then I sourced a graphic designer. That took a few more months, and then it was off to the printer. With thousands of books being delivered, I had the courage to face uncertainty and vulnerability and got on with the job of taking my book into stores, building relationships with stockists, arranging my own PR, conducting interviews, organising a launch party, and then traveling for book signings, events, and launches interstate. Before I knew it Greek Life had won Best Mediterranean Cookbook and Best Self Published Book for Australia in the Gourmand International Cookbook Awards, and this saw me flying to Frankfurt where the international exhibition was taking place. A dream come true. I faced my vulnerability and gave my unique gift to the world.

I’ll leave you with this thought. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is courage. It is the birthplace of love, joy and belonging. So what are you going to do with your one and only fabulous life?

Eugenia xox